The Clock Ticks On

Just musing on the many birthday wishes, gifts and presence. Yes, that is not a typo - I mean presence, not presents. At times presence (just being there) outweighs presents. It is by far the best birthday I've celebrated so far (oh, there was no party - but I still celebrated). Its great to know that my life counts, to be in pursuit of a vision and to have a purpose.  Someone told me that youth is a blunder, manhood a struggle and old age a regret. Nothing could be further from the truth. It was never meant to be this way. That is NOT my life.

Anyway to the day itself - the select day even in the season. The day before my birthday we are having tea with mum and I tell her,

"hey mum, remember tomorrow is my birthday..."

"is that so?" she asks, "is that when you were born?"

I paused. I realized I actually DON’T KNOW when I was born. She really is the one who knows when I was born. I only believe what she tells me.

Doesn’t this fill you with greater appreciation for your mum? I mean, today I'm more learned than she is - but there are some things only she knows for sure, and I will never know. She could tell it to me, but I will never have the experience. How it felt to carry me for nine months. How was the day she carried me from the maternity? Was it rainy? What was the color of the baby shawl? Was it plain or flowered? She will always be mum - no matter how old, rich, or powerful I become. For I would never get here without her.

So goes with our leaders. Note: I don’t mean POLITICIANS. I mean leaders. People who have led us along the way. People who went before us and paved the way for us. Like my nursery school teacher. She taught me the alphabet. Well, today I'm fluent in English, I can write, fill crosswords and the codeword, but where would I be except for the alphabet? So as one wise man said, "if we see far, it is because we stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us." and there are numerous examples. People who have invested in us and we became better than them, or we just became better; maybe we became more visible than they are; we should always honor them.

Different people offered different gifts (key word is offered - receiving the gift is up to me). As the old adage goes, it’s the thought that counts. I wont discuss that, but will discuss one gift. My sister bought me a watch. I lack the proper words for it but in slang, "I was so jazzed". I got thinking how I would "revenge" - get back at her; repay her. I can get her a shoe or some cake - I know she loves both. The cake she will eat and that's it. The shoe she can wear - maybe once a week (she has so many other pairs, I don’t understand why she still loves shoes). Or maybe she can wear it on special occasions. But "her" watch, I WILL ALWAYS HAVE WITH ME.

This caused me to think deeply. What impact do I have on people? Is it a sweet but momentary impact that will only remain in the recesses of their minds but not be carried wherever they go? (like the cake). Is it an occasional impact only when we meet? (like the shoe worn on special occasions). Or is it a lasting impact that becomes embedded in all that their hands seek to do? (like the watch now worn on my wrist). I desire the latter.

I could keep writing. Of how the same words "Happy Birthday" coming from different people mean different things - not more or less - but different. Of how each friendship and relationship is unique. Of the beauty of simplicity, the small things that matter; of wanting what you have not having what you want; of the flowers that we never notice along the path coz we never take the time to…… but I will pen off here…and let the music play on…. Happy Birthday to me…….

The TO Lessons

To manage time and money
To control thoughts and words
To subdue appetites
To school feelings
To overcome temptations

The TO lessons you have taught me

Learning by Osmosis

Osmosis is the flow of a solvent through a semi permeable membrane from a more concentrated solution to a less concentrated one, until the concentrations are equalized.

Osmosis may also be defined as the gradual, often unconscious, absorption of knowledge or ideas through continual exposure rather than deliberate learning

Several points can be noted here. The key point though is that there is transfer of matter from one location to another, altering the state of the latter to be more like the former. This happens because the dividing wall between the two locations is semi-permeable. What would happen if it was impermeable? There would be no transfer, hence no osmosis.

Illustration
Let us take the concentrated solutions to be value systems. Good/right values and wrong values. It works both ways.
Let the solvent be the means of transfer of the values e.g. speech, literature, company etc..

Where the concentrated solution represents wrong values:

Osmosis is the flow of speech, literature, attitudes, perspectives etc. through a SEMI PERMEABLE MEMBRANE from a concentrated solution (high concentration of the wrong values), to a less concentrated one, until the state of the person initially holding right values is like that of the one initially holding wrong values.

Assumptions
1. There are right and wrong values
2. The absence of one is the presence of the other
3. As one set of values increases the other decreases till it is totally extinguished 

The fact that the membrane is semi permeable is the key factor contributing to the “process of osmosis.” If the membrane were impermeable to the opposing values, there would be no osmosis.

Can I tie a tie?

Early one morning on my way to work I was approached by a fine looking young man.

"Excuse me," he said, "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Yes", I answered.

"I need to put on a tie." He continued. "The only problem is that I don't know how to tie a tie. Will you please do it for me?"

"Yes I can," I answered.

With that, he went to the nearest stall and bought a tie, which he gave to me to tie for him. For some reason I felt like there was something funny about this whole episode. I tried to look around for any hidden cameras - I couldn't see any. It didn't help that the ladies around the stalls were gazing at us the whole time. It only increased my suspicion.

After the first attempt, the tie was shorter than what I thought was ideal, so I re-did it. All in all, I ended up tying it in less time than I thought I would. I was on my way to work, but not without some thoughts:

The Trojan War

You may have watched the movie Troy. It is based on the war waged between Greeks and the Trojans. The war went on for a long time. The end of the war came with one final plan. The Greeks built a big wooden horse, an animal that was sacred to the Trojans. The horse was hollow on the inside.

On the outside, the horse was inscribed, “the Greeks dedicate this to Athena for their return home”. Enough Greek soldiers got into the hollow belly of the wooden horse. The rest of the Greek army burned the camp and sailed away.

When the Trojans discovered the Greeks were gone, believing the war was over; they joyfully dragged the horse into the city while they debated what to do with it. Some thought they ought to hurl it down from the rocks, others thought they should burn it, while others said they ought to dedicate it to their god Athena.

The Trojans decided to keep the horse and turned to a night of mad revelry and celebration. When it was midnight and the clear moon was rising the soldiers from inside the horse emerged and killed the guards. They entered the city and killed the sleeping population.

The Life of the Butterfly

Once upon a time, there lived a very wise man. He was the wisest man in the whole village. 

One day, a young boy came to the wise man holding a butterfly in his hand. The boy asked the man, "Wise man, I'm holding a butterfly in my hand; is it dead or is it alive?"

The boy was crafty in his intention. He intended to prove that the old man was not as wise as it was perceived. The old man could read into the boy's craftiness and said,

"My son, if I should say that the butterfly is dead, you will open the palm of your hand and let it fly, to prove me wrong. Should I say that it is alive, you will crush it in your hand, to prove me wrong."

"Therefore my son," the old man continued, "THE LIFE OF THE BUTTERFLY IS IN YOUR HANDS."

As the old man stated, so is it in our lives. Think of your life, your career or even relationship. 

Often times we feel as if its destiny is way beyond us. Yet, in truth, we have a significant role in determining where it ends up. We have been empowered to determine the shape of our destiny. We can either allow it to soar and be beautiful in flight, or we can crush it in our hands.

So, be it in your career, relationships or life as a whole, remember this: "THE LIFE OF THE BUTTERFLY IS IN YOUR HANDS."